Had a fucking fantastic day
And i know that you think its just a fantasy, but since your dad walked out your mom could use a guy like me
STACY’S MOM HAS GOT IT GOIN ON. SHE’S ALL I WANT AND IVE WAITED SOOOO LONG
Seriously.
so i was kinda flirting with that girl and we were joking about how far shes willing to go, and she got all nervous, and i said, dont worry, once i handcuff you to the bed if anythings going further than you llike just raise your arm.
Then she got all paranoid.
I dont see why, all im saying is that once shes chained to my bed if she fels uncomfortable all she has to do is get up and leave.
God. Some people, you know?
if some shit doesnt appear in my ask box in two minutes im going to be slightly more bored than i am at this very moment.
true story
Irony
When I want a girl to fuck around with all I see are girls who want legitimate relationships.
When I want a legitimate relationship i get a ho who doesnt want any strings.
Not complaining. Its just ironic.
That irritating moment
when i see a red 3 at the top of the screen and assume its messages but its just gay dashboard shit
year is 2392
child: mommy i can't sleep
mother: don't worry child. lay down as i sing you this ancient lullaby, passed on through my family for generations
mother: PARTY ROCK IS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT EVERYBODY JUST HAVE A GOOD TIME
Hi tumblr.
Its been a while since ive had shit worth posting about that wasnt all whiny and bitchy.
So lately ive been praying to the lord buddha to help me overcome this dryspell ive been having in which there has been an absence of female ass. :(
Luckily his mooship, king curry, the merciful brown one, granted my request, and as a bonus, the hoe he has elected to send me lives one house away, which makes busting a nut all too convenient.
Anyway heres what happened. She saw me out raking my yard way earlier this year and told some girl she thought i was very hot, who told me, and i thought nothing of it really. Then like 4 weeks ago she got really annoying, borderline bitchy. I mow the lawn every friday in just my shorts, and shes taken to sitting in her backyard and watching me, though i pretend not to notice. Anyway the other day that same girl came up and told me that this girl im talking about likes me. I was thinking about it, and ideally id really just like to be fwb, not a real relationship, cause i dont think shes the type of girl i want to date. but i would hook up with her in a heartbeat.
So today I did, we went ona walk, i took her to this cliche but romantic park where theres this pond and a fountain and birds and an antiqueish wooden porch swing, then we snuck into someones open garage and hooked up.
I gotta saw it was really hot. she was hornier than I was. It was awesome, but i realized after theres no way i can get out of going out with her now, till she texts me later explaining that i should keep it a secret and she just wants us to hook up as often as possible in secret.
KAY. FINE BY ME.
Then she asked me if there was anything in particular id like to do, and for those of you who are interested, i really would like to have soaped up sex in the shower, and i said so, to which she replied, “Okay, but i dont see why, im already slippery enough”.
Slippery never occurred to me as a sexual word.
Slippery when wet.
